Being a mom is amazing, its great, its wonderful, and its hard. Its amazing to watch them grow into their own little selves with big giant personalities, and its great to see how they apply what you teach them into their daily lives. Its wonderful to see their little eyes sparkle when they accomplish something big on their own. The hard part about parenting is parenting. Its a constant array of trial and error, a constant learning process of what to do and what not to do, a constant reflection of what you can do to improve yourself as a parent. I am always thriving to be a great mom, always trying to do whats best for my daughter, in hopes that one day she will grow up to be a kind, strong, independent, brave, smart, courageous girl with compassion and empathy and lots of love for the world. To nurture her into a wonderful human.
Then you try your best as a mom and sometimes you just feel like you’re being judged for everything you do. Moms get judged the most. Growing up I’m sure a lot of people have heard this saying “didn’t your mom ever teach you ….”. Its always about the mom. There’s so much stigma about what type of mom you are. The young mom, the old mom, the stay at home mom, the full time working mom, the single mom, the naughty kid’s mom, the mom who wants to enjoy herself even while being a mom. So Many Stigmas. Many women feel the pressure to live up to being the perfect mom that they start to completely lose who they are and feel the need to live up to a certain standard.
My struggle has always been in finding balance. I think being one of the few girlfriends with kids, I struggle a lot with balancing who I am now with who I use to be, and the part of me that’s been a little lost for a while. Like am I suppose to dress a certain way now being 30 with kids? What are my hobbies? What is my passion? What are my goals? What do I like to do on my own free time? Where do I see myself in 5 years. etc etc etc. I can’t grasp what it is yet but one day that little lost spot of “me” will be filled. For now all I know is that I am trying to be the best mom that I can be and to give all the love I have within me to this little person that calls me mom while nervously and patiently waiting for the next chapter of our lives to begin in May.